Many of us live in fear of being criticised, particularly at work. We all know it can be difficult to separate the personal from the professional, and the failure to recognise this crucial difference often leads to our defence mechanisms firing on all cylinders when we perceive we’re being ‘attacked’ about the way we do our jobs.
With performance reviews on the horizon for many of you, it’s particularly important to be able to receive criticism in a healthy manner-and even more importantly, that we recognise constructive criticism as what it is: a gift that allows us to improve.
The first thing to keep in mind is that companies do not carry out performance reviews because they enjoy berating their employees and gleefully picking on every last thing you do wrong. They do it because they see opportunities for their employees to improve, and want to congratulate you for the things you’re doing right; though some managers are not so strong on the latter, but we’ll get to that in a minute.
How to turn the negative into a positive in performance reviews
- See criticism as opportunity. Research has shown that the most successful people tend to show a ‘growth mindset’: that is, someone who believes that every experience, whether good or bad, is a learning experience. Those exhibiting a growth mindset do not take their failures or criticisms as personal affronts, rather seeing the criticism as an opportunity for personal and professional growth. So cultivate your growth mindset. Be excited about how to do better.
- Make a choice. Going into that performance review, understand that you can either choose to view it as a confidence-destroying experience, or view it as what it is: an opportunity to walk out with an understanding on how to be better at your job, paving the way to more success, more recognition, and perhaps even a promotion and a pay increase down the track.
- Make it easy on them. Remember that the person giving the feedback might be nervous about this as well. Very few people enjoy giving feedback if it’s negative in tone, and sadly a lot of people aren’t well trained in how to do it properly. Because both parties are therefore in a stressed state, often comments can be delivered and construed all wrong- by both sides! Hopefully you will be given your review by someone who understands how to give feedback kindly and effectively, but realistically that’s not always the case. So it’s up to you to be the bigger person and create a mature and healthy conversation.
- Avoid the classic defence mechanisms. When you’re told what you’re doing wrong, take a deep breath and try to avoid these quite natural reactions:-Denial: I didn’t do it like that. You’ve got it all wrong.
-Shock/Anger: That’s totally unfair! I can’t believe you’re having a go at me when I work so hard.
-Justification: I only do it that way because…
Sure, it’s fine to clear up any misunderstandings, but outside of that, your manager needs to see that you’re willing to accept the criticism and improve on your behaviour.
- Listen and accept their viewpoint. Interestingly, as soon as you utter the magic words: ‘I see what you’re saying, how do you think I can improve? (or something along those lines), you allow the other person to relax too, and you’ll find that you’ll get better guidance as a result.
When you learn how to receive feedback well, fear and emotion disappear from the room. Performance reviews become an interesting time for you to learn more about your professional self: what you’re doing well, what you need to improve, and how you might do that.
Criticism is a gift, if you just know how to accept it the right way.
Until next time
Julia
