As we continue our series on how to develop as a leader, let’s talk about one of the most challenging aspects of your role, especially when you are new, navigating difficult conversations.
Whether it’s addressing poor performance issues, delivering bad news, or handling conflicts, these conversations are inevitable in the workplace. However, with the right approach and communication skills, difficult conversations can lead to growth, improved relationships, and increased team productivity.
In this week’s post, we will explore the reasons why difficult conversations happen, what makes a good conversation, and strategies to handle the challenging conversations we all have to face as a leader.
Why do they happen in the first place?
Understanding Why Difficult Conversations Happen
Difficult conversations occur for various reasons, and it’s crucial to understand their root cause.
According to research from Harvard Business Review, one primary reason is that human beings have differing opinions, perspectives and often live by their ‘manual’ of how life should be.
When individuals on a team have divergent views on a particular topic, it can lead to tension and conflict, with opposing ‘sides’ having a need to be right.
Then what often happens is conflicting goals and priorities can be a significant trigger for difficult conversations.
For instance, if team members are working towards different objectives, it can create friction and hinder collaboration.
Layer over these interpersonal issues between the team, and communication gets very tricky.
Ask any experienced leader about communication challenges they have had, and I am sure they will share classic stories about team dynamics that are hard to fathom.
In his book “Emotional Intelligence,” Daniel Goleman emphasises how important developing emotional intelligence is when it comes to handling conflicts like these.
Human beings have thoughts daily that drive feelings and, consequently, things they say and do.
Fear, frustration, discomfort, and anxiety are present for many of us, especially when we are experiencing a situation that is new to us.
Unfortunately, for a new leader, this can lead to avoiding difficult conversations that need to happen.
When we are new in a role, it is normal to hang back and feel uncomfortable, especially when you are addressing sensitive topics.
Here is something to consider from Brené Brown, a renowned author on vulnerability and leadership. In several of her award-winning best sellers, she shares that courage and vulnerability are essential elements of becoming an effective communicator.
Being vulnerable as a leader is a powerful tool when it comes to difficult conversations because it cultivates trust, authenticity, and openness within your team. When leaders display vulnerability, they show a willingness to be open and honest about their own shortcomings, struggles, and emotions.
This transparency humanises the leader, making them more relatable and approachable.
The Elements of a Good Conversation
To handle difficult conversations successfully, it’s crucial to understand what constitutes a good conversation.
There are several key elements that make communication flow, especially when it comes to a work context.
Honesty
One key characteristic of successful dialogue between people is honesty. As a new leader, being transparent and candid with your team members will build your trust and credibility. Which is critical for any leader who wants to deliver results in their organisation.
Empathy
Next comes empathy. In the context of leadership, it is the ability to understand the feelings, perspectives, and experiences of people within your team.
As a new leader, empathy plays a strong role when it comes to building interpersonal connections. This then leads to the development of a positive work environment and drives overall team success.
An empathetic leader actively listens to their team members, with the goal of understanding their emotions, concerns, and challenges. This skill will allow you to connect with your employees on a much deeper level.
By doing this, you will understand your team’s individual motivations and struggles and have the ability to adapt your management style to suit the needs of each team member.
Empathy also enables leaders to provide meaningful feedback and recognition. Understanding the emotional impact of their words, empathetic leaders can deliver constructive criticism with tact and empathy, inspiring growth rather than discouragement.
Assertiveness
Assertiveness is also vital in difficult conversations. Clearly expressing your expectations and concerns helps set boundaries and fosters a culture of accountability.
Being assertive while, at the same time, remaining respectful will create a constructive dialogue between everyone concerned.
Strategies for Handling Difficult Conversations
As a new leader, adopting practical strategies for handling difficult conversations can significantly impact how effective you are at communicating.
Mastering communication always starts with being an active listener.
Giving your full attention to whoever is talking and resisting the urge to interrupt them is key to building strong relationships and finding common ground.
Demonstrating that you are a good listener helps when it comes to observing behaviours and giving feedback too.
Incorporating specific feedback is essential during difficult conversations. Focus on the observed behaviours or actions rather than making judgments about the individual. By providing clear and actionable feedback, you can help team members understand their areas of improvement without feeling attacked.
Finally
Handling difficult conversations is a skill that every new leader must master to become successful by fostering a positive work environment and promoting team growth.
By understanding the reasons behind difficult conversations, incorporating the elements of a good conversation, and employing practical strategies, new leaders can effectively address challenging topics and build stronger relationships with their teams.
Until next time,
Julia Carter
About Zestfor
Zestfor delivers training coaching and development programs and resources scientifically tailored to develop leaders, both new and experienced, and their teams in technical markets – including Pharmaceutical, I.T., and Life Sciences.
Our blend of in-classroom, online, and virtual live-stream delivery methods will engage and assure even the most introverted team members from the first meeting.
You can find out more about our leadership programmes here.
