Some of us misunderstand confidence. We often think it’s the loud, attention-seeking colleague— that domineering person in the office who always has something to say.
We forget that self-confidence is actually a quiet, internal thing: it’s the faith you have in yourself and your abilities. It doesn’t need a megaphone to alert the world it exists, it’s not showy, or overbearing.
Yet for all its quiet, solid nature, confidence certainly makes itself known…in its absence. If you don’t have confidence in yourself, it will show in a myriad of ways in the workplace, and a lack of confidence will almost certainly stall your career. After all, it’s difficult for others to have confidence in someone who doesn’t have confidence in themselves, and promotions, key projects and opportunities rarely come to people who doubt their own abilities.
A few things to know about confidence
True self-confidence is realistic. To be confident requires that you believe in your abilities, but it doesn’t require that you believe yourself to be good at something you’re not. A confident person won’t pretend they’re good at ‘something’ if they’re not, as true confidence is about a tolerant awareness of your own strengths and weaknesses, and accepting your limitations.
Self confidence means you don’t mind asking for help. A confident person can happily say ‘Oh, I still don’t understand how to use this new software properly, can someone from IT come and give me a lesson?’ They don’t feel that asking for help diminishes them, as they believe that they are good at other things, and—even more importantly— their confidence gives them the growth mindset they need to believe that they can learn new things and become good at them.
True self-confidence doesn’t fear embarrassment. That’s not to say confident people like feeling embarrassed (who does!), but rather that they won’t hold back from doing what they want in the fear that they might be embarrassed. With confidence comes greater freedom from fear.
Self-confidence isn’t necessarily tied to an actual level of ability. Some exceedingly talented people still lack confidence.
Most importantly, self-confidence can be learnt; it’s not something you inherit-which means you can always change it.
How to Build Self-Confidence in the Workplace
The truth is that self-confidence is a habit: it’s the way you perceive your own abilities.
Here is how to start building your self-confidence; change the way you think: when you notice yourself thinking negatively about yourself or your performance, ‘force’ yourself to stop and replace that thought with a thought about something you do well, or become more proactive with a plan to improve your performance. Don’t let the negative thoughts gather steam, and don’t let them immobilise you with fear of failure either.
Give real thought to everything you’re good at. Note down past successes and good things that have happened, and keep this list somewhere you can access it easily on days where your fledgling confidence is under threat.
Give yourself reasons to believe in yourself more with some challenges. Self-confidence is about what we believe we can do, but as the saying goes, ‘you never know what you can do until you try’.
Whether at home or at work (or both) set yourself some objectives that will stretch you a little. When you reach these goals your self-confidence cannot help but improve, because you have proved to that doubter that lives in your head that you are more capable than you thought. The more challenges you meet, the more your confidence grows.
And remember that domineering work colleague who is full of themselves?
If they are displaying attention-seeking behaviour, there’s every chance they aren’t confident either………….and they are unconsciously covering up their own insecurity by their words and deeds.
Don’t be blinded by your perceptions of other people’s confidence levels; instead work on slowly and steadily building your own self-acceptance and awareness of your strengths.
By challenging yourself and forcing your thought patterns out of negative ruts, your confidence cannot help but grow…and career success will follow.
Increased confidence is a key output of our Impact and Influence programme. Would you like to find out more? Then get in contact here. Or call 0845 548 0833.
