Today I am continuing our series on dysfunctional teams. Last time we talked about trust, specifically its absence connected to our next dysfunction; fear of conflict.
Logically healthy debate rarely happens when trust is lacking. The thing is that teams that lack trust are incapable of participating in ‘passionate debate’ about ideas.
As a replacement, discussions are surface-level without substance, and everyone becomes guarded about what they say; sound familiar?
Let us explore this more.
The Power of Productive Debate
Think of some of the best relationships and teams you have met over time. I suspect all of them had heated discussions and debates.
These conversations were exactly what helped them grow. I know some teams I have worked in and with have had a mantra of ‘let us get this on the table and discussed’.
By doing this, transparency and authenticity remain – remember that from last time we talked about trust. And a discussion can occur.
Though often, the debate does not happen, and here is why.
The Misguided Inhibition Around Conflict
The challenge is conflict is often considered something to be avoided at all costs in many situations in our lives. In the summer, I had a weekend away with girlfriends. A couple of conversations revolved around personal issues that were dragging on because a discussion and debate had not happened because of the fear of the uncomfortableness and conflict it would bring up.
I am sure we can all relate to examples of this across our business and personal life.
In a work context, the higher up the management ladder you go, the avoidance of debate and discussion increases to an art form, with people spending a huge amount of time in avoidance mode.
Conflict Types
In the conflict context we are talking about, there are two types—the analysis style and the backstabbing style, the result of avoiding healthy conflict in the first place.
The analysis, intellectual and often named ideological style, we want to embrace. This style is limited to concepts and ideas and avoids personality focused and nasty attacks associated with a different conflict style.
However, it can have many of the same qualities of interpersonal conflict, for example, passion, emotion, and frustration – so much so that an outside observer might easily mistake it for an unproductive debate, which it is not.
However, the teams that engage in productive conflicts like this know the only outcome is to quickly produce the best possible solution.
They discuss and resolve issues more quickly and completely than others and exit heated discussions with no hidden feelings or casualties. Instead, they are enthusiastic and eager to take on the next important challenge.
Weird though it might seem, the teams who avoid the healthy style of conflict often do so to avoid hurting team members’ feelings and end up encouraging dangerous tension anyway when team members do not openly debate and disagree about important ideas.
Next, they often turn to gossip and personal attacks that are more harmful than any heated arguments could ever be.
Here is the irony: many people avoid conflict in the name of efficiency, yet healthy conflict is a time saver.
Contrast that with the notion that teams waste time and energy arguing when in fact, more energy is wasted as avoiding conflict results in issues being revisited repeatedly without any form of resolution.
Worse still, team members are asked to take issues offline, which rarely happens. Instead, the case rumbles on during future meetings and still is not resolved!
Overcoming Conflict Avoidance
So how do we overcome the avoidance of conflict? The first step is to appreciate that avoidance is not serving anyone and debate is healthy.
As Patrick shared some time ago, teams that fear conflict
- Create behind the scenes gossip and backstabbing.
- Have flat, boring meetings.
- Fail to uncover different perspectives and knowledge.
- Avoid controversial topics crucial to team success.
Teams where conflict is encouraged
- Gather and debate ideas from ALL members of the team.
- Vital topics are debated, not avoided.
- Problem-solving takes place over politics.
- Meetings are lively and enjoyable.
I am certain many of you reading this can recognise the statements I have listed above and can pin them on different teams you have worked with.
Awareness is the first step to change; how could you use this information with your team?
After awareness that conflict can be a good thing, the next suggestion is to have a team member uncover conflict that is simmering to be raised and handled. Lencioni calls this mining.
This person extracts buried disagreements within the team that need to be resolved; they must have the courage and confidence to call out sensitive issues and encourage team members to work through them.
This naturally requires objectivity during meetings and a commitment to stay with the conflict until it is resolved. Ahead of time, an idea we encourage our Zestfor clients to use is to assign a team member to take on this responsibility during a meeting or discussion.
Stepping Up as a Leader
As a leader, it is important to coach team members through their discomfort, especially if generally they avoid debate and discussion like this.
No more stepping in to resolve what is going on. Sometimes it is about stepping up, using personal constraints, and letting the team develop their conflict management skills.
I am sure you will recognise this technique for those of you who are parents!
Though overused, a final note; remember to walk your talk. Surprisingly, our team notices and often unconsciously model our behaviours, so make sure they copy your best behaviours in healthy conflict conversations.
If you want help and advice around this leadership skill, do get in touch as we have several programmes that can help. From insights discovery team development, strengths finder to liberating leadership. Please send me an email here or call us on 0845 548 0833.
Until next time,
Julia Carter
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